11 May You might be depressed about being depressed
Oxford professor Mark Williams notes that many adults suffering from serious depression are essentially discouraged and hopeless about feeling discouraged and hopeless. In other words, they are depressed about being depressed.
All, or nearly all, or us experiences low moods. These can be associated with experiencing disappointments, frustrations, changes in relationships, etc. These low moods needn’t be permanent, nor interfere with quality of life. Most of us simply notice the emotion and then go about our business, and the feeling changes as we reengage with other aspects of life.
You may recall from previous columns that the brain responds to any perceived threat in the same way it would a very real physical danger. The brain becomes hyper-focused on this “danger” in the same way it would if confronting a grizzly bear. It is difficult to think of anything else as the mind becomes preoccupied with identifying a means of escape.
In the case of negative or low moods one may perceive the thoughts, body sensations and urges as “bad news”—harbingers that one will be miserable for some time. The brain’s autopilot responds and we find ourselves caught in a feedback loop. One naturally begins to ruminate, rehearsing the negative thoughts or images endlessly like a football player reviewing footage of a fumbled play as if trying to find a solution.
Williams states, “Our reactions to unhappiness can transform what might otherwise be a brief, passing sadness into persistent dissatisfaction and unhappiness.”
He continues, “If we have been depressed before, a low mood can become easier and easier to trigger over time, because each time it returns, the thoughts, feelings , body sensations, and behaviors that accompany it form stronger and stronger connections to each other. Eventually, any one element can trigger depression by itself.”
So one can begin to automatically respond to any of the thoughts and sensations associated with unhappiness by fixating, ruminating, and getting stuck in feeling badly about feeling badly.
Of course, it does not help that many have been misled to believe that low moods are evidence of a brain that does not work properly. One may fear that the mind is not doing its job when, in fact, it is functioning just as designed.
The problem lies not in the brain, but in the assumption that depressed feelings are, themselves, dangerous or threatening.
Remember that my brain believes and reacts to everything I think, even if I don’t even believe what I am thinking. (Recall of the way you reacted to your last zombie movie: heart pumping, thoughts racing, feet up on the sofa…all this despite the fact we have not had a verified zombie attack in Rexburg in the past several years)
The solution is simple, though not at all easy: Stop ruminating about the depression experience and focus on what is real and present in the moment.
One must develop the ability to recognize that a thought is just a thought, and not always the real truth; that a sensation is just a sensation, and not always evidence of danger; that an urge is just an urge, and not always an emergency
But how does one do that?
Williams said, “Start living right here, in each present moment. When we stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we’re open to rich sources of information we’ve been missing out on—information that can keep us out of the downward spiral and poised for a richer life.”
With effort and practice, one can develop the skill to set aside the automatic thoughts and simply observe what is right in front of us.
Step out on the porch and feel the cool air on your cheek. Breathe in deeply and notice the smells of spring. Listen to the sounds of the world around you. Don’t judge any of these sensations as good or bad; simply notice them.
Notice also the thoughts that have just gone through your mind. Describe the thoughts in complete sentences. But again, do it without judgment. Judgment always activates the brains escape autopilot, and we are trying to give it a rest.
As Williams puts it, “Being mindful means that we suspend judgment for a time, set aside our immediate goals for the future, and take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
You can learn much more about the mindful approach out of depression by reading the source of these quotes, The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness, or my favorite, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.