Individual Therapy
I’ve been a full-time therapist for 35 years. But there is nothing I have learned that you could not. The challenge is to pinpoint the skills and shifts in perspective that will get you were you want to go.
Though I have a great deal of experience with a wide range of therapeutic techniques, much of my work is a straightforward process of helping people to recognize the negative thoughts contributing to their negative feelings, and quickly experiment with replacing those thoughts with something entirely true and more positive.
It is important to understand that we are not just trying to come up with “happy thoughts”; we are trying to come to the truth and not to fall for any twisted thinking. If you change what you think, you can change what you feel. Yes, it is easier said that done. But it is easier done–and more joyful and exciting–that staying stuck in depression, anxiety or misery.
Couples/Marriage Therapy
When working with couples–which I have done a lot since 1988–I like to meet with the two of them together to get a history of the relationship, including how they came to choose one another, and where the high and low points were. This gives me baseline measures, high- and low-water marks, as well a context for what is bringing you in.
Then I would want to meet with each partner one-on-one to get each’s perspectives regarding:
- main problems in the relationship,
- how they make decisions together how they fight or argue,
- how past relationships–including families of origin–might be influencing the current situation,
- how things are gong in the physical intimacy department,
- what they are doing that contributes to the problems in the relationship (even accidentally),
- and what they would be willing to do to get the changes they want.
After that, I would sit with the couple and lay out my best understanding of what is happening in the relationship, based on their observations and my 35 years of experience. This gives them a correct any misunderstandings I may have before laying out a specific treatment plan.
Yes, it is a big up-front investment. But it makes the work go much quicker and more focused that it otherwise would be. Then we can hone in on exactly what the couple needs to break.
