21 Aug What Happened to Robin Williams?
Many of us woke last Tuesday morning to the disturbing news that comedian Robin Williams had taken his life in the throes of depression. Before the day was over members of the media and of this community were trying to make sense out of what we would consider a senseless act.
I was approached by several people, genuinely concerned about the implications of this news for their own well-being, and for those they love. “If anyone as funny as Robin Williams wanted to die, can any of us be safe?”
Questions like this stem from two faulty assumptions: (1) Depression is a disease that can befall anyone, sneaking up and robbing them of joy and of the power of choice, and (2) there is nothing one can do about it but take medication and hope.
The truth of the matter is a bit more complex, but much more promising.
1. Depression is not a disease. What we call depression is a set of natural, even healthy responses to the perception that something is dangerous, or otherwise unbearable, and that it will not change.
The limbic system—the central part of the brain that helps us to focus intensely on things that threaten our well-being—is beautifully designed to find and resolve problems. It does this by making it difficult for us to think of anything other than the perceived dangers, so we can find and apply solutions right away.
This works beautifully with some kinds of challenges. This autopilot response keeps us from stepping rattlesnakes and from scanning for a better radio station while sliding into an intersection on icy roads.
But it sometimes gets stuck in a feedback loop. Sometimes we dwell upon disappointments, failures or mistakes, mulling them over and over again as if we can somehow change events by thinking them to death.
In his break-through book The Emperor’s New Drugs: Exploding the Antidepressant Myth, Irving Kirsch, PhD observes that often people are “depressed about being depressed”. While depression symptoms often begin with difficult events or circumstances, it can become a learned behavior. Once a person has accidentally “learned” to be depressed, the depression can come back by something as simple as the anticipation of being depressed.
Depression can even become the default mood in absence of other emotional states.
2. Just as depression can be learned, it can be unlearned. More specifically, one can learn specific behaviors to stop or interrupt the cycles in which have gotten caught. While a great deal of current research supports the effectiveness of this “skills approach” to treating mood disorders, these solutions are as old as humanity itself.
It helps to understand the general workings of the human brain. When we recognize what is happening to us, it becomes easier to overcome those tendencies, rather than feeding the fire. One needn’t earn a PhD in psychology or brain chemistry; one can observe the fact that negative thoughts feed negative emotions, and that changing thoughts result in changing feelings.
Peace results from seeing things as they are—accepting reality without judging it as good or bad. With very few exceptions every moment is really okay. I learned this when lying next to my young son for several days in the hospital, after he was accidentally—but seriously and irreparably—injured by his older brother. Miserable feelings almost always result from thinking about something that has already passed, or which may or may not ever occur.
That brings up the unspoken question: why do some seem impervious to depression, while others struggle so much? Some people have learned and practiced these skills since early in life. Anyone can learn the skills, but it will require dedicated practice now and in the future.
My heart goes out to Robin Williams and to his family. I can only guess that he believed that his pain would end when his life was ended. Because I believe that our spirits persist beyond our mortal lives, I do not imagine that he is at peace any more than are those he left behind. Sadly, the legacy of his death may contribute to even more lives ending prematurely.
While I have no inside information regarding his inner experience, I have learned much from working with those who suffer from—and have overcome—depression. The value of learning and practicing skills that save and improve lives cannot be overstated.