04 Feb 50 Great Dates
Dating is dying.
I am not suggesting that going on dates is akin to death. I am simply pointing out that dating—the time-honored activity of sharing your time and interest with someone of the opposite sex for two or three hours—is on a sharp decline.
The most common reason cited is fear—fear that someone will turn down their invitation, and fear that they won’t have any great date ideas. A lot of good young people are missing out on the fun, friendship and potential for lasting relationships what come with creative, casual dating.
Would you like some advice from a trained professional and former “dating machine”?
(I can wait while you regain your composure.)
Think small. It is easy to get carried away, trying to think of something huge and impressive. This actually cuts down on dating because it expends too many hours, dollars and brain cells to make it worthwhile. Keep it small and you’re more likely to be able to pull it off without scaring her or him into thinking that there has to be an “I do” at the end of the evening.
Be creative. Dinner and a movie, dinner and a movie… That is the easiest rut to fall into. Now that movies are more accessible and more portable than ever, even this old routine can be spruced up by taking a laptop on a picnic. Or maybe you’ll rent a beach movie and watch it at Rigby Lake on towels with big, fruity drinks.
Or skip the movie altogether and do something very interactive. Find some old golf clubs and chip balls into a bucket, or drag out the Frisbee and make your own Frisbee golf course. When I was at Ricks College my best friend, Danny, kept a checkered table cloth and a candle with some nice dinnerware in the trunk of his car. We went on a lot of double dates by going to an event on campus, picking up burgers at the drive through, then having a candlelight dinner in a park or on the 50-year line of Viking Stadium.
One time it didn’t work out so well. We saw a scary movie (Poltergeist), went through McDonald’s and then tried to set up the picnic in the cemetery. Our dates didn’t applaud our creativity on that one. Oh, well…live and learn.
Be thoughtful. Find out something small about your date, and build it into the adventure. My favorite date of all time was one of the few times a girl asked me out. Ruth took me to the dollar movie, and afterward asked me to help her take some items to her uncle’s flower shop a few doors down. She unlocked the door and took me to the basement of the old building on Main Street, then asked me to follow her as she walked through a passage cut into the concrete basement wall.
(I have to pause to point out that I hesitated for a moment, as I wasn’t quite sure where this adventure was going. I had seen something similar in a few scary movies and it didn’t tend to end well.)
When I stepped into the opening I saw a beautiful café table, with chairs, a candle and a backdrop. On the table was a box of Cap’n Crunch—complete with Crunch Berries—which I had jokingly told her days earlier was my favorite cereal. We laughed and enjoyed our “romantic” dinner together.
It was a great date, one that helped me to begin seeing her in a different light. I began to realize that she was fun, creative, very thoughtful, and able to have a good time without spending much money. I had gone on a lot of dates over the course of a few years, but this young lady struck me as truly unique. We began dating exclusively and over the next eleven months we had at least 50 fun dates together.
That first date was over 30 years ago and it still brings a smile to my face. That beautiful young lady and I have been married for nearly that long, and I still get excited each Friday or Saturday as we go out.
I would encourage you to take a pen or sit at your laptop and jot down 50 great date ideas. You may not do all of them, but wouldn’t it be fantastic to have a repository at your fingertips when you’d like to get to know someone better while have having a great time?
Note: Since February is the official month of love I will spend some time each Tuesday visiting the stations of marital bliss—dating, courtship, engagement and marriage. You can comment or get more information on my blog at MichaelWilliamsCounseling.com. Or call 208.360.2365.